For a moment, I drowned.

The water went inside me

Cradled my heart full of tears

lifted it out of my body

and sunk within the ocean’s layers

On a bed of soft silt

my heart felt happy

drowned in the deep blue abyss

my arteries and veins

flushed out the anguish and worry.

-J

 

 

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Hope.

Our Bond

Is intertwined

our fingers weaved within each other’s

palm’s exchanging the energy of one another

And these hands

extend across

the universe

across

the barriers

while our faces can never meet

each other.

 

Breathe

Why is it that every inch of my body twitches to smile at the mirror?

Why does my face frown?

Why do my eyes envision that which the world has ordered me to see?

When I know that this is not my true capability?

Why can’t I believe?

Why do I need someone else to empower me?

Why must I regret what I eat and how less I sleep?

Why can’t I enjoy my life fully?

Breathe.

You become what you believe.

Strong.

Your heart and soul filled with nourishing positivity.

Smile

Because your body radiates everlasting beauty.

 

Breathe

Because you become what you believe.

-J

Drenched.

 

I can’t seem to find a path to you, I run every single step wondering and hoping and breathing with every bit of hope left in the air. I can’t speak, my soul is gated, my heart is painted, and my eyes cannot see. And then my legs shake of exhaustion and worry and grief, my voice quivers ever so faintly, and my heart sinks beneath my feet. And just as my hands were about to dig themselves into the soil, a jolt of lightning strikes at the very center of my soul. You lit my heart with an everlasting burn, and you drenched my soul with your pouring rain.

I found you.

-J

Inspired by Mulk Raj Anand.

Midnight.

The festivities continued. I find myself lurking in the nooks and crannies of the recently constructed temporary bazaars, covered in vibrant layers of cloth, translucent enough for the painful bright light to pass through and tint the floors with various hues.

The smell of sweet paan curls into my nostrils, I feel the warmth of the steam let off by a huge utensil, into which a thick layer of condensed milk and chai leaves are stirred vigorously by a bony old man, with skin like tissues.

There’s a vendor, exhausted from attempting to hypnotize his foreign customers with wooden toys he bought off a young boy on the street. ‘Specially carved by the greatest of our sculptors in Rajasthan’ he says.

Truth is, they were made in a Chinese factory.

I walk towards the food counter, and all I see is a menu full of bland sandwiches and ‘Lays’.

I walk further away from the stall and find myself going towards the Lucky Draw counter.

‘Ah medam! You’ve won a beautiful doll!’

It’s a blonde, blue eyed, pink dressed barbie with ‘Amy’ written on it.

Disgusted, I give the gift to the young girl standing eagerly in the corner, in her only brightly coloured purple dress, the fire in her eyes when she grabs the doll does not comfort me.

A women shrieks ‘it’s the perfect gift for her, So modern!’

It’s some wonky strappy dress made of the worst material I’ve ever seen.

I walk further away from this fare, or bazaar, or whatever you’d like to call it.

I walk up to the beaming, gloating fat man standing at the entrance of the bazaar with gold rings on his fingers and a stupid foreign flag pin on his silk buttoned shirt.

‘They’ve done it again haven’t they. Stripped off all our cultural pride.

we’re fools.’

-J

 

Your eternal beauty.

Here I am

Cribbing about

the small things that have clouded my head with

anger and frustration and

unnecessary panic and lack of

Patience.

There you are

amidst the chaos and unbearable

struggle. Unable to breathe you can hardly achieve

anything. Too many

obstacles.

And yet your heart finds joy in simply seeing me content and

being able to pray and believe and

loving your life so passionately

your face glowing so brightly

I

cannot believe how

ungrateful I’ve been.

-JalataMelon.

 

You.

There’s this

underlying uncertainty of

how my relationship with you should be

if I

don’t know whether your affection is truly for me if

it’s a matter of popularity

then

don’t make me a pawn in your struggle because

I chose to love truly.

-JalataMelon