The last Roar.

And so the Bengal Tiger gave his last final roar

his cubs standing tall with all their might brave and mature

The trees parted ways so he could walk towards the Mountain

The mountain on which he ascends from the earth to the heavens

His body died, as his soul marched with pride

His body swiftly walked, while his stripes swayed on his back

Each stripe on his skin a mark of his wise words’ powerful impact

And he reached the top of the mountain, his head held high

Not looking to his cubs for a last goodbye

After all he knew, he would see them again

Tigers and Tigresses, with their cubs admiring his legend.

-J

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Living in the Present.

The most soothing thought that gives me comfort and joy, is that one afternoon on a Sunday, my hair crimped with braids that i slept in overnight, my first ever no-curls wavy hair. The apple scented EverYuth facewash that I washed my face with, It was a pleasantly hot summer afternoon, and as every Sunday passes, this Sunday was exactly the same, mumma sitting on the sofa, the warm ochre shades of the curtains as they were drawn to cover the sunlight, the cool breeze in the hallway and the waft of something delicious from our kitchen. My skin glazed in Vaseline, smooth because i waxed the day before, my body only ever so slightly dressed in a floral dress, the kind you would find as a lazy summer dress. With two or three buttons and a waistline that created a grip perhaps. And of course, lunchtime was the best, this chicken caeser salad, with the cool breeze in the house either from the AC or the fan, the delicious food and the company of my mum, everything was perfect, not a moment did I worry or think about my future, while Zindagi Na Milegi Dobara’s ‘Kwhaabon ke Parindey’ played in my head, ah what bliss.

 

And today, I sit on the corner of my sister’s bed, in London, constantly having the same epiphany, I’m in London, I stare out of her room to give myself a pinch, the beautiful Victorian houses bring me back to the present, the knarly trees that remind me of Harry Potter and the warm orange lights coming out of the windows from a distance. And I tell myself you’re in London. My life is at a pace that I do not seem to understand, yet I do? Emotionally fragile because of my beautiful grandfathers weakening body with a soul ready to depart, and a mental disturbance that has grappled me by the jugular vein, I hear these eerie birds chirping at the 3:22 am of the night, wondering how I will spend my New years Eve this year, and yet I feel weirdly comfortable, knowing that my body and soul are facing the signs of maturity and growth, as I learn to attain emotional strength while my lips read the word of God throughout the day, my body tired yet nourished with self-love, my abdomen soft and calm, just a small contraction and my heart is ready to burst into tears, tears of joy, tears of sorrow, tears of strength and tears of weakness. Not knowing my future yet feeling at ease, knowing that I trust myself because of the direction that God has created for me, my body drained but my heart gleaming with self-esteem, because to endure so much at once as me is not someone I thought I could ever be.

Jaded eyes.

Today I hold your hand, with regret for not seeing the fire that once burnt bright in your eyes

If I could go back in time

I would.

If I could, be a victim of your tantrums and your infuriated shoutings

I would.

If I could see you stand once again, with your upright posture and proud face

I would.

If I could sit in your basement home, and listen to your incredulous stories about your youth

I would.

If I could send you pictures of my growing stages, see your reaction to my stepping stones

I swear I would

If I could say goodbye to you without a heart filled with regret, perhaps I wouldn’t cry every time I see those jaded eyes,  knowing that I’ve seen you live your fullest life, with me by your side, but circumstances and circumstances, make me sit here weeping in shameful tears, on this blue night, wishing I didn’t have to say goodbye.

 

there’s a greater depth in your body

There’s a greater depth in your body

There’s a depth in your soul

You have the ability to feel and to empower

You have the ability to help youth grow

you’re maturing, you’re blossoming

Imagine the beautiful seeds you’ll sow

on this Earth

of love and nourishment,

reminding each human of their self worth

You are beautiful

You are sacred

You are everything you aspire to be.

 

-Love

JalataMelon.

Somewhere in the middle.

I don’t want to go home but

I feel disoriented

Neither here nor there.

Take me anywhere

A beach for a day, but I like the winter too

Take me home Ill be with my family that’s all I need it’s true

But Ill be bored again, so time to pack my suitcase

and return to the life where I find comfort in certain parts of this mirror maze

Neither here nor there

take me anywhere

Tie a string to my soul and pull it towards the sky

Into infinite stars, but keep me away from their light

then lets go further, just a bit more

Beyond the seas and beyond the shores

to the tip of the earth, the end of the world

Into eternity, but thats not my comfort

Im fleeting, temporal, cascading, running

With no area giving me a sense of belonging

Because I am not a child of this world

My soul belongs to the realms of the heavens above the earth.

She’s a bright purple sunshine.

How can I express

my gratitude

for a woman

who marches with an attitude

Her love shines as bright as the purple sunshine

that she radiates everywhere she struts

Her warmth and comfort

While she silently sobs

Such a sparkle in her eye

Such a sparkle in her face

A unique mixture of sass and grace

A woman bound to success, I tell you

Never have I met such a kind soul

One with a heart so wise and old

But her mind still grows, and yet she forgets

that she isn’t an adult yet

Responsibility on her shoulders, while ignoring the depression clouding her head

While she consoles others, and simply finds comfort snuggling in her bed

A soul, I pray for, to be eternally blessed

Because she is a personality unlike the rest.

-J

 

Midnight Moonshine

I looked at the moon, my teardrops glistening in its light,

The sky stained with a dark purple ink

No star tonight.

Its me and my moon.

We look at each other, I absorb its wisdom into my face

My eyes become those of a black cat, two silver streaks across my pupils

Its the crescent

My body, naked, wrapped in a sheet of cold, cool wind

My hair, twisting and turning ever so softly on my back

The air, seeping through my nostrils to the pit of my lungs, taking a somersault and returning back to the sky

The midnight sky

The dark purple, starless, midnight sky.

While he looks at me, and smiles

Its a child, enjoying her enlightening night.