Somewhere in the middle.

I don’t want to go home but

I feel disoriented

Neither here nor there.

Take me anywhere

A beach for a day, but I like the winter too

Take me home Ill be with my family that’s all I need it’s true

But Ill be bored again, so time to pack my suitcase

and return to the life where I find comfort in certain parts of this mirror maze

Neither here nor there

take me anywhere

Tie a string to my soul and pull it towards the sky

Into infinite stars, but keep me away from their light

then lets go further, just a bit more

Beyond the seas and beyond the shores

to the tip of the earth, the end of the world

Into eternity, but thats not my comfort

Im fleeting, temporal, cascading, running

With no area giving me a sense of belonging

Because I am not a child of this world

My soul belongs to the realms of the heavens above the earth.

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A light so dim

My nerves

clawing to

the beasts within

the

cowards that sin

my body radiating a

light so dim

that expands

ever so slowly.

 

Inspired by Mulk Raj Anand.

Midnight.

The festivities continued. I find myself lurking in the nooks and crannies of the recently constructed temporary bazaars, covered in vibrant layers of cloth, translucent enough for the painful bright light to pass through and tint the floors with various hues.

The smell of sweet paan curls into my nostrils, I feel the warmth of the steam let off by a huge utensil, into which a thick layer of condensed milk and chai leaves are stirred vigorously by a bony old man, with skin like tissues.

There’s a vendor, exhausted from attempting to hypnotize his foreign customers with wooden toys he bought off a young boy on the street. ‘Specially carved by the greatest of our sculptors in Rajasthan’ he says.

Truth is, they were made in a Chinese factory.

I walk towards the food counter, and all I see is a menu full of bland sandwiches and ‘Lays’.

I walk further away from the stall and find myself going towards the Lucky Draw counter.

‘Ah medam! You’ve won a beautiful doll!’

It’s a blonde, blue eyed, pink dressed barbie with ‘Amy’ written on it.

Disgusted, I give the gift to the young girl standing eagerly in the corner, in her only brightly coloured purple dress, the fire in her eyes when she grabs the doll does not comfort me.

A women shrieks ‘it’s the perfect gift for her, So modern!’

It’s some wonky strappy dress made of the worst material I’ve ever seen.

I walk further away from this fare, or bazaar, or whatever you’d like to call it.

I walk up to the beaming, gloating fat man standing at the entrance of the bazaar with gold rings on his fingers and a stupid foreign flag pin on his silk buttoned shirt.

‘They’ve done it again haven’t they. Stripped off all our cultural pride.

we’re fools.’

-J

 

The more the better my love.

With her forearm she gently pushed away the pile of clutter on her desk and placed another intricately carved pencil case. Plucking a tissue from the box of her Premier special face tissues she rubbed her case and blew through the carvings, ensuring that each nook and cranny was rubbed to perfection. She then pulled out a random selection of pencils from her glittery pencil stand and released them in the circular carved wooden platform. It was midnight, she ran her fingers through her long deep brown hair, gathering the strands towards the back of her head and tightened it together with a black band. She then walked towards her long mirrored cupboard, and found her hands fumbling through the cupboard door to pull out a lipstick. She glossed her lips with a deep violet and smacked them together and gave herself half a smile. She draped herself in a soft satin printed kaftan she brought from the streets of Fort Kochi Beach, and sat cross legged on her bed. A cup of green tea in one hand, and a cube of dark chocolate in the other. She took a deep breath, as she tried to find her calm and satisfaction amidst the chaos. And began wondering what else there was that needed change.

4.A Letter for Jane Austin.

****************

The 23rd of July 1813.

Dearest Jane Austin,

Halfway through your work called Pride and Prejudice, I was left to wonder endlessly about the life led during the times of Elizabeth Benett. I admire,that during those times, the love and importance of reading and gaining knowledge, of the respect and courtesy men and women had between each other, and the love for literature, were so very important. I admire, Eliza Benett, if I may call her by her nickname, in her being so determined to express her opinion and ensure and reinforce her rights as a young woman in the 18th century.

I am constantly infuriated with Mrs Benett’s complains and cries on how Jane and Elizabeth were about to get married to two quite *reasonable* men but they couldn’t. If I were in the place of Elizabeth I would have probably screamed in rage and cried in frustration of living with Mrs Benett. What I found most offensive, was Mrs Benett calling Eliza rather foolish, when I found Elizabeth and Jane the most understanding and mature of the lot. Kitty and Lydia remind me of the young girls in our world today gossiping about boys and men and being unable to resist their urge to be with someone. 

I would like to also summarize my understanding of the times you lived in. Men would work, while women would stay at home and do what they did best when it came to household chores, and modesty and respect was often observed between men and women. I’ve also learnt that perhaps class and money were of the most important to have a status in society. Although Mr Collin’s money and property did not give him much attention, since according to me he was rather foolish and praised himself irresistabily. Thus, what I admire, is the importance of knowledge and intelligence during those times, which I greatly respect. Learning the eagerness of the younger Benetts to get married should not have come as a surprise to me, considering that some girls in families still consider marriage as the main goal in their life in my world today. 

However I wonder, how women would spend their lives every single day other than reading,studying, and walking in the park. It intrigues me, to think about the interesting lives they must have led. I am not at all considering household women to live boring and depressing lives, but I am quite curious to learn how they lived their lives with contentment. Moreover, however materialistic their lives may be, compared to our modern world, there is something that defines the description of their lives in one word, simplicity. The simplicity of the life of Elizabeth Benett, although understanding her mind was so not very simple. She was content, respected her cultural beliefs but also allowed her own opinions to voice in and thus knew, how to live a content life. I truly admire Elizabeth Benett, her class, her intelligence, her humility and her grace.

I’ve also learnt, the difference between formality and respect, and the importance in being respectful towards yourself and to your society.

Although I have watched the enactment  of your story, it inspired me to read and understand the story through the original piece of literature and through the interesting mind of Elizabeth Benett which did not fail to increase my curiosity after every chapter.

And that I greatly admire, the way you presented your society, and conveyed such a beautiful message.

Thank You

Yours, etc.

***************

-JalataMelon.