Today I hold your hand, with regret for not seeing the fire that once burnt bright in your eyes
If I could go back in time
If I could, be a victim of your tantrums and your infuriated shoutings
If I could see you stand once again, with your upright posture and proud face
If I could sit in your basement home, and listen to your incredulous stories about your youth
If I could send you pictures of my growing stages, see your reaction to my stepping stones
I swear I would
If I could say goodbye to you without a heart filled with regret, perhaps I wouldn’t cry every time I see those jaded eyes, knowing that I’ve seen you live your fullest life, with me by your side, but circumstances and circumstances, make me sit here weeping in shameful tears, on this blue night, wishing I didn’t have to say goodbye.