spirituality

Drenched.

 

I can’t seem to find a path to you, I run every single step wondering and hoping and breathing with every bit of hope left in the air. I can’t speak, my soul is gated, my heart is painted, and my eyes cannot see. And then my legs shake of exhaustion and worry and grief, my voice quivers ever so faintly, and my heart sinks beneath my feet. And just as my hands were about to dig themselves into the soil, a jolt of lightning strikes at the very center of my soul. You lit my heart with an everlasting burn, and you drenched my soul with your pouring rain.

I found you.

-J

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Edge of the Boulder.

I walked further and further away from my reality, searching for escape amidst my lost location. Mentally frantic and anxious, physically resisting the urge to run and shout, simply unable to find the missing puzzles of my soul. And I found the edge, the edge of infinite wonder. I stood at that edge and all I could see beyond me was a million shades of blue. A blend of the salty Kochi sea into the evening Indian sky. Unable to be more conscious of my surroundings, I slumped onto the ground and let my feet dangle at the edge of the boulder. My kimono drenched in saltwater and my jeans stuffed with sand while I could feel parts of my face and body being stung by the drying saltwater that I had jumped into. I tried to look beyond the sea and beyond every edge of the sea that waved in front of me. I could find nothing. I became restless and I kept looking but there was no edge. There was only the edge of the boulder, into an infinite pool of depth and danger. And I released my breath, my heart throbbing slowly as if I reached a climax and as if I fell on the ground I was pushed towards. I found a few curious faces appearing by my side to figure out why I was so overcome with emotions that my face was drenched with tears. It wasn’t the tears that would make the back of your head throb with pain and your nose clog with red veins clawing towards your pupil. It was tears of exhaustion after discovery. Tears of an end I long waited to discover. An end that explained the chaos of my mind, the restlessness of my brain and the dissatisfaction of my soul. An end quite contradictory to its purpose. An end only to lead me to a million new pathways. My hands pushed themselves on the rock and I got up, my feet leading me back towards where I ran away from. Striding to my reality with a light heart and a replenished soul.

Lessons I learnt from my Mumma.

  1. ‘Gratitude.

Take a book, and write down all the blessings you can count, all your affirmations. Give the universe your positive outlook on your life and the universe will give back to you.’

My mum told me our societies are so consumed by their materialistic pleasures and are deluded with greed in their desperation to save money, that we forget the tiniest blessings we’re surrounded with.  We radiate the energy we find within ourselves. She told me, not everybody is perfect, so stop complaining to the universe and start finding the beauty in it.

2. ‘Meditate.

The Almighty has given me time to reflect on my life, and it helps me radiate the positivity that’s embedded in my soul.’

We believe in the Almighty, the power of the positive and negative energy that radiates around the earth. She told me that to be conscious of your thoughts is the hardest skill to achieve. ‘I meditate, even if it’s only for ten minutes, because it soothes my mind and helps me reflect on my life. It builds on to my gratitude and allows me to take control of the situation I am in.’

3. ‘Accept change, and strive to success

If you really want something, if you want to build healthy relationships, then start accepting the change that you see. Start working towards making yourself and your relationships better.  Make peace with old and unresolved conflicts. Make peace with those who will fade away. Make peace with your atmosphere and walk towards the energy that will feed your soul.’

Happy Mothers Day.

-JalataMelon.